In all fairness, I had no idea when I met Mrs. Adelia that my stories about her would go anywhere beyond that first meeting at the farmer’s market. But they have, and I now see the need to make it right.

So, I’ve gone back through all of my old posts, and changed the names of the people I have written about. I am doing so simply because I feel it’s the right thing to do. I’m sure I’ve missed a bunch, but I’m working on getting everything straightened out and changed.

It may sound silly. You all already know her as Mrs. Adelia. But I’ve changed her name to “Mrs. Addy”, for the sake of newcomers. So when you hear me say this new name, you’ll know that this is the same friend we’ve all grown to love.

Once again my naivete has caused me to have to go back and fix things. I just don’t want to continue doing anything that might make my friends uncomfortable. I value them too much.

Guys, Addy isn’t doing so great. I never knew much about Multiple Sclerosis, but I can now tell you that it’s a horrible, horrible disease. It has effected her sight, thinking, and physical abilities.

I was supposed to visit my friend last Monday, but when I called to let her know I was on the way her son answered the phone, letting me know that Addy was not doing well, and that they were headed to the doctor. I kept in touch, and was able to visit two days later.

When I got to the house, the kids eagerly ran out to meet me in the driveway, like usual, but Addy wasn’t in the doorway smiling. I made my way inside, Jada and her little friend ran to the swingset to play, and Titus found some toy trucks to spread out on the living room floor.  The oldest daughter (12 yrs) went back into Addy’s room, and was in there for quite some time. I just sat on the sofa chair, looking around at all of the things they had there. The many bookshelves were crammed full of books- Bible books, cook books, gardening and herbal books, soap making books, and encyclopedias. There were shelves lined with mason jars full of goodies. I noticed a dozen or so oil lamps around the room. Many antiques were also spotted here and there.

After about 15 minutes or so, I heard Addy’s bedroom door open. Her daughter came out walking backwards through the kitchen toward the living room, holding Addy’s hands and guiding her to the couch. Addy slowly followed along, taking very small steps, and didn’t seem to be able to see anything at all. Her hair was wet, like she’d just showered. As she was helped to her seat, and gently eased down, she smiled in my general direction when I gave a cheerful “Hi!”, but her eyes were unfocused. Her daughter went to get Addy’s glasses, so that she was able to see a bit better.

I just sat quietly as they went through their routine. Once Addy was settled into the corner of the couch, her daughter got a glass of milk and some pills and made sure her mother had taken them. It was obvious that it was very difficult for Addy to hold that cup, and to get it to her mouth. She tried to brush her own hair, but soon had to give in and allow her daughter to do it for her.

I asked her how she was feeling, and she smiled and said that she was fine.

My visits this year have been extremely different from last year’s visits. I’m afraid the lesions on my friend’s brain have taken their toll. She isn’t able to think of much to say anymore. Conversation is somewhat awkward, as I try my best to keep it going by myself. I sit and tell her all of the things I’ve been learning to do, and the crazy and funny things that have happened on our little homestead, and she sits there nodding and smiling, looking like she is just about to say something, but she isn’t able to get it out. She doesn’t say much of anything at all, just sits and smiles.

I try to bring things to show her, to help encourage conversation. This time I brought some foraging materials I just got, that tell you which wild plants are edible or medicinal. She seemed very interested, her daughter was as well. They took the cards I showed them, and her daughter flipped through naming which plants she recognized and read a little about them out loud. I asked Addy if she’d ever heard of a Soapberry tree , and she hadn’t, so I told her how the nuts from the tree make soap, and how I’d love to have one one day. Her expression told me that she’d love to have one as well.

Addy asked me if I’ve done any canning, and I proudly shared all that I’ve accomplished so far. I had brought her a jar of my bread and butter pickles, but before handing them over I asked if she liked them. Her daughter told me that none of them really liked them, so I kept the jar tucked in my diaper bag, and didn’t offer it.

Her young son came in from outdoors, with a fresh plum in his hand. He brought one in for me as well. Addy suggested that I save the seed to grow my own plum tree, which I quickly agreed was a great idea!

We sat for about an hour. Most of the conversation was between me and her daughter, though I tried to direct most of what I said towards Addy so as not to make her feel left out. Normally we would have been walking around outside, doing chores or observing nature, but this time she did not move from her spot. Her muscles are too weak now.

Before I left, I leaned down to where she was sitting and gave her a big hug, promising to come again soon.

I am so incredibly thankful for the short time that I knew her before this disease took  a good hold on her. I don’t know if she will ever realize how completely she changed the course of my life, and my family’s life. Everything that I am learning to do now is a direct result of her inspiration. I don’t know if she will ever get better, or how bad it will get in the years to come, but I will never stop visiting with her. She will always be my mentor, my inspiration, my model of what a mother and wife should be.

Sadly, this is probably the last of my Butterberry Farm series. If you’d like an occasional update, just shoot me an email. Otherwise, I’m afraid there isn’t much more to write. I know Addy wouldn’t want me going on and on about how pitiful she is at every visit. Pray for her. If the Lord sees fit to take this affliction from her, and things miraculously improve, I will be the first to praise Him publicly for it.

Thank you all for following along with me and my friend! I know she has been an encouragement to many of you as well.

Over Christmas, my friend suffered two seizures, the last of which left her completely immobile. Unable to even lift her head, her husband had to carry her to the car and rush her to the hospital. There she stayed for two weeks, not even recognizing her own husband for several days. Her children were sent to stay with friends and relatives, as they were not allowed into the hospital on account of “Swine Flu”.

Slowly, through physical therapy, she has learned to open her hands and use them again. She has learned to walk once more, though she still moves ever so gingerly. She still forgets where she is at times, or who old friends are.

I was a little afraid that she wouldn’t remember me. That would have been really awkward. But I was relieved when she greeted me at her door, with that same warm smile she’s always shown us. I gave her a big hug and told her how glad I was to finally be able to visit her again.

Jada was so glad to get to play with her little friend again. It was cold, and muddy outside, so the kids did most of their horsing around on the small living room floor.  And Titus didn’t forget to go to their microwave and find whatever baked goody was hiding in there. They always have cookies or something ready for him!

It seemed like her children had grown so much since I’d last seen them. She thought the same of mine. We sat on the couch and caught up on things. And we marveled over the fact that it has been almost two years now since we first met that day at the Farmers Market. Looking back, I had no idea how that day would change the course of my life forever!

She looked so frail. It’s really sad. She’s only 40; too young to be debilitated by such a horrible disease! Addy talked little, and was slow to say what she did share. But she was in good spirits… the same beautiful kindness glowing in her eyes.

I wonder if things will ever be the same around their home. Will she be able to garden anymore? Will she can her produce? Will she still be able to make soap? How will her family survive without her being able to do all that she did? She is such a cornerstone for their livelihood!

They did get rid of their cows, as Addy is unable to milk anymore, or care for the bulls. The children help take care of the chickens and the pigs. Her husband does the cooking and laundry. How long will they have to do these things for her?

I am so thankful for the time that I did get to spend with her before this disease took it’s hold. I am so thankful for all that she has taught me! I wonder if she will ever get back to her old self again, or if her health will only deteriorate.

It is just so heartbreaking to see such a strong, independent and stubborn woman in such a vulnerable state. I pray, oh I PRAY, that her health is restored to her, and that this disease is sent into remission. I take comfort in knowing that the Lord is good. He is the Great Physician! So, there is always hope!

Please you guys, if you think of her, please say a prayer for her. Her family desperately needs her back.

I’ll try my best not to let so much time go by before I see her again.

We had a nice visit. I tried to keep it short this time… I think we were there for about an hour and a half. Jada ran outside to play with her friend, and Addy’s boy took Titus to see the cows and pigs. Me and Addy just sat around and caught up on what we’d been doing for the past few months.

I told her that we now have 14 chickens. The last time we talked we had just gotten our first six. She was surprised that we had that many! I told her about how we found all of those eggs hidden under the water stove. Knowing that she free ranges her chickens, I asked her if she does the “sink or float” test to see if her eggs are still good. Of course, she did know that trick. But her husband chimed in, laughing, and told me about a time when he cracked an egg into a hot frying pan and it ended up being green! It stunk the whole house up! Then Addy told me of another time when they cracked one open and there was a dead baby chick in there. Yuck!

I asked her how her garden did. She said she had been canning stuff like crazy! I told her all about my Blossom End Rot on my tomatoes, the tomatoes in the goat’s pen, and how I totally blew it with my first watermelon. She was sweet not to laugh at all of my rookie mistakes. She advised that I crush up eggshells and sprinkle it around my tomatoes next year. She told me that they have several watermelon plants growing randomly in the yard from where the kids stood on the back porch and spat their watermelon seeds out the year before! How funny!

I asked how their cows were doing (seemed like something one homesteader would ask another). She told me that her milk cow had dried up. Then her oldest daughter, who was sitting with us in the living room, spoke up with great excitement, “Oh! She hasn’t heard the story! Yay! Somebody who hasn’t heard yet!” I was very intrigued, “What story?” I asked.

Addy smiled, and began the tale…

She had gone out to the barn, just like every morning, to milk her cow. The cow came into the barn, and Addy put the head clamp thing around the cow’s head while it munched it’s grain, so that she could milk. She had just sat down on her little stool to begin her task when all of a sudden one of the bulls from the field came busting in through the barn door, practically taking down the whole wall with him!

Evidently, the cow was in heat. And boy did that bull know it!

He came in with such ferocity, that Addy was knocked to the ground. In his rage, he was thrashing all around, and poor Addy was trapped in the midst of it all. He banged her up quite badly, and even tossed her up against the wall a couple of times! Fortunately, Addy’s oldest daughter (age 12) always goes in with her when she milks. The quick thinking girl grabbed a pitch fork and courageously stabbed the mad bull over and over, trying to get him off of her mother. Blood was going everywhere.

The youngest daughter just happened to be in the barn too, up in the loft playing. They yelled to her to go and call their Papa. When he got the call, he dropped what he was doing and quickly came home to rescue his poor wife.

Addy said that the word quickly spread that she was being manhandled by a bull, and along with her husband came trucks and trucks of men… armed men. Seems every one of them came packing some kind of heat, from small handguns, to bazooka type artillery!

She said it took about 11 shots to bring the bull down. Poor Addy was pretty beat up. Her legs were terribly banged and bruised, and the skin was all torn. Her back was all bruised up too, from being tossed into the barn wall. (She showed me what remained of her bruises.) They took her to the hospital where she had to get a Tetanus shot. Fortunately, and quite miraculously, she did not have any broken bones!

Later her husband joked, “Don’t you think you’re a little old to be riding bulls?!”

The Lord sure was looking out for her! That could have gone devastatingly wrong! I am so glad that she was okay.

As for the bull… well, they were eating him for lunch.

So now her milk cow is dried up and she’s out of milk. She’s having to drink store bought until she gets another milk cow. She said that store bought whole milk makes them sick, literally. Her kids were throwing up at first. The oldest daughter went on to tell me how horribly disgusting 2% milk is. They couldn’t believe it when I told them that in my house we almost always drink 2%. They looked at me like, “How in the world do you stand that stuff??” I shrugged, “I just grew up drinking 2%.” They are so used to fresh whole milk, nothing else seems right!

As we were talking the girls came in from outside, hot and sweaty. Addy’s daughter poured some apple cider ( juice) from a glass jar for the two of them to drink. That reminded me of last year’s apple picking. I asked Addy if she was going to do that again. Sadly, she told me that the trees just did not produce much this year. Bummer! I was really looking forward to helping them pick apples and make fresh apple juice!

She told me that Ms. Hope isn’t going to have her annual Corn Frolic either; the deer ate all of her corn! But, Addy made a suggestion to her that got her very excited- this year she’s going to have a Cast Iron Frolic. Everyone invited will bring a dish made only in cast iron. That sounds like fun! I asked Addy if she would let me know when it is. I’m excited about it too! I better start practicing my cast iron cooking!

Before I left, I asked her if I could borrow one of the movies she has told me so much about. It’s called Love Comes Softly. (I watched it that night, and laughed and cried! It was SO good!!). She’d been telling me all about these movies, I guess it’s a series. I’m going to have to borrow the others now!

It was really good seeing them again. I’ll visit them again soon. I ordered a book for Addy that she had loaned out and needed another copy of, so I’ll be bringing it to her whenever it comes in the mail. She was going to make soap, then realized that she couldn’t find her book! (It was called Soap: Making It, Enjoying It.)

Maybe I can help her make soap next time! That would be cool. Can’t wait to visit again!

We had actually planned a trip to the Herb shop two weeks ago, but Adelia had to be hospitalized before we could go. See, she has been battling Multiple Sclerosis for the past couple of years. The other week she had an episode which landed her in the hospital. She’s still not 100% back to normal as far as her functioning goes, but she’s much better than she was. (Please say a prayer for her and her battle with MS.)

She was feeling pretty good today, so me and the kids went to her house to pay them all a visit. When I got there Adelia was in the barn milking the cow. Jada stayed on the porch playing with the youngest girl and their new kittens while I went down to say hi to Adelia as she finished up. Titus also went to the barn and found her milking. When he saw the milk dribbling onto the ground beneath the cow he said, “She pee-pee’s”! He didn’t quite understand what was coming from the cow. Adelia tried to tell him it was milk, but I don’t think he got it

While she milked, Adelia told me that over the weekend her oldest daughter had horribly sliced her foot open across her toes. Everyone who saw it said that she needed stitches. It was gaping terribly and bleeding everywhere. But if you’ve been following along with me you should know by now that Adelia has her own way of doing things.

So, instead of rushing to the ER, she and another lady began collecting spiderwebs. She explained to me that in her talks with many of the elderly women in their church, several have told her about the use of cobwebs as wound bandages. Supposedly spider webs may contain antibiotic properties.

First they cleaned the cut with kerosene. (My husband has always told me that his grandpa did this when he was alive; a lot of people did this in the old days.) I asked her if that burned and she said “No, it just feels like water.” Then, after gathering a sufficient amount of webs, they packed the wound with them. I guess they just wadded them up and stuck them over the cut.

Next, they used the skin of eggs to cover the webs. This is the really thin, clear slimy stuff that is inside of an egg shell. And finally, they covered it with the fuzzy leaves of a plant called Lamb’s Ear, which is called the “bandage plant” as it was used long ago as a healing wound dressing.

Adelia went on to say that as the egg skin dries, it pulls the skin back together, no matter how badly it is torn. You just have to be careful that it doesn’t dry out as it will start cracking. She was putting some sort of lotion on her daughter’s foot to keep her skin moist. She said that after one day her foot is looking incredibly better than it did the day before. I was fascinated by this remedy, which seems to be working well!

As we made our way back inside we got off the subject of healing, and Adelia told me that they had been canning cherry pie filling the day before. I told her it was funny that she should mention that, ’cause I was just thinking yesterday that I need to ask my Mother-in-law if her cherry tree has any fruits on it. (The birds usually get to it before we can.)

Adelia said, “Well, if you drive us up to Papaw’s house we can pick some more cherries for you.” Of course I was excited at the very idea, and we all loaded into my van. He only lives just a few houses up from them, so it was a very short drive. Along his driveway are two beautiful Bing Cherry trees, and they were loaded! We got our big bowl, a couple of ladders, and all started picking.

Jada was just as excited as I was to pick cherries. She especially enjoyed eating them right off the tree. They looked so yummy to me, so I tried popping one into my mouth as well. Just as I was biting into it Adelia tried to warn, “Uh… they aren’t sweet!” Too late. Boy, was it sour! She had to giggle at me as my eyes squinted closed and my mouth turned inside-out. She laughed, “They need to be sweetened.”

Silly little Jada loved them regardless. I never could get Titus to try one!

We picked for quite a while. The kids ended up running off and playing not long after we started, which was fine. They were having fun. I got about a half a gallon of cherries before I was done picking. There were still a lot of cherries on the tree, but many of them were not quite ripe enough yet, so I left them there.

Before I knew it it was almost 3:00 and I had to get Titus home for his nap. As I was heading out Adelia was sweet enough to make a copy of her recipe for Cherry Pie filling for me. Since my husband doesn’t like Cherry Pie, I think I’ll make Cherry Jam instead, but here is the recipe she gave me:

Cherry Pie Filling

• 10 cups water
• 3 cups sugar
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup cornstarch (dissolved in 1 cup of the water above)
• 1/3 cup Almond flavoring
• approx. 1 gallon of cherries; pitted

Heat all to boiling. Pack pitted cherries into quart jars. Pour hot liquid over cherries into jars. Water bath 20 min.

This makes 6 quarts of cherries.

I’m glad Adelia is starting to get close to normal again. I can’t imagine her frustration at this disease. She’s still on for taking me to the herbal lady another time though. That will be a fun trip. Maybe next week…

But for now I gotta go, I have a bunch of cherries calling my name!

Addy and her family are the most faithful church goers I’ve ever met in my life. They are the kind of people who are there every time the doors are open. If they miss a church service, people are calling and knocking on their door making sure that they are alright. Their faithfulness has really convicted me of my own church attendance. We tend to stay home in bad weather, and hardly ever go other than for Sunday morning service. I know we need more.

Both her and her husband are active members in the church; he teaches children’s church, she sings in the choir and teaches a women’s Bible study. The morning we came to visit, Addy’s husband was teaching his class, and Addy and her kids were helping, so we decided to hang out with them down stairs in their Sunday school room.

As we entered the downstairs area, I immediately noticed that there was no sort of security check-in to get to the children’s classroom. Our church has a strict check in point, and they issue a number for each child at every service so that only a parent can pick them up again. I guess everyone knows everyone well enough at this church that they don’t need all that.

It was funny watching her husband teaching and interacting with the kids. You can tell he really loves them. I’d never seen him so dressed up before, in dress pants and a tie. His hat was missing, and his long white-gray beard was nice and combed. Addy looked pretty in her very modest dress, and her long hair was brushed out and hanging down her back.

Jada found an empty seat and joined in the class while me and Jerry helped Addy set up snacks for after their lesson. I was surprised to find that the snack they were serving was chocolate chip cookies and soda. At our church the kids are served water and organic cookies. I was glad that I had brought a healthier snack for Titus to munch, but I let Jada join the others not wanting her to feel left out.

I couldn’t help but notice how “country” all of the kids were. None of them were very dressed up, though it looked as if they had on their best set of clothes. And when they yelled out an answer it was hard to understand what they said at times because of their thick southern accents. I wondered what my Jada thought of all this. I couldn’t help laughing when I noticed she would cover her ears every time the children would shout. Still, she sat nicely in her chair and just looked around at everyone.

After the class was over, and all of the children had filed out the door we helped straighten the room up. Then my family and Addy’s all stood around and talked for a while. Addy’s daughter invited us to come home with them to eat lunch, but I didn’t want to impose so I politely declined. I knew Addy hadn’t planning on company. Addy was quick to invite us to the evening service, so we agreed to come. We never go to church on Sunday evenings, but I really wanted to see what the actual service was like, since we’d missed Sunday morning service.

So, that evening we headed back. This time we were all upstairs in the sanctuary. We were running a little late, as usual, and sneaked into the pew with Addy’s husband while the choir was still singing. Addy and her daughter were up in the choir singing, and their son ushered.

My Titus sat smiling at Addy’s husband, who grinned back at him from behind his long beard. As I looked around I was immediately struck by the contrasts between this church and ours. We attend a much bigger, much more contemporary church. People come dressed in casual clothes; shorts and flip flops if they want. But this church was very traditional, men wore suits and women wore dresses. I was glad I’d worn a skirt.

The choir sang southern gospel music, in a group that didn’t seem to be organized in any particular way. They sure sang from their hearts though! At our church we have a praise band, with guitars, drums and tambourines, singing upbeat contemporary Christian music through a PA system; and overhead screens with the lyrics to sing along to. Addy’s church also sang hymns from the hymnal, with only an old piano to accompany the congregation’s voices. It had been many years since I’d picked up a hymnal to sing from. And like a good Baptist church, they sang like all four verses of each hymn.

The preacher was an older man, who spoke softly. I was a little embarrassed when he asked everyone to open their Bible’s to the scripture he would be reading from. See, we hadn’t brought a Bible. We are so used to the passage being displayed up on the overhead screens, that we never bring our own Bibles to church anymore. So, we sat like heathens with no Bibles. I felt kinda convicted that we ought to be reading from the Word and not a screen during church anyways.

The message was surprisingly short, and the service was over quickly. We did hang out for quite a while after church though. Lots of older women came up to me and Addy introduced me to them. They said they’d heard a lot about me, which made me wonder, of course, what Addy has said about this city girl! Everyone was so friendly, and invited us back to visit again.

We were the last ones to leave the church. Addy said that they are always the first ones to get there, and the last to leave. We really enjoyed hanging out and talking with everyone. The service was a very different style than ours, but it was a nice change. It felt very… genuine. It made me wish I knew more people at our church; ours isn’t like a family like Addy’s church is.

The style may not have been ours (I know we stuck out like sore thumbs!), but the warmth and togetherness of their church was something that I have missed. I’m glad we got a chance to experience worship the way that Addy and her family do every Sunday.